Welcome back to my page! Today I thought I would switch things up and talk about something that is a little bit more personal than my usual beauty review posts. I feel that I have strayed away from talking about what has been going on in my personal life because I am still trying to figure it all out. This post is going to talk about my Post-Grad experience.
Remember, everyone's situation is different. My experience may not be the same as yours.
My graduation (May 2017) was one of the happiest moments of my life. I was already a super senior and was really beating myself up about not graduating as class of 2016, as I originally was supposed to. Sadly, due to sub par grades, major health issues, and my psychological state, I was unfortunately forced to stay an additional year. Finally getting the "okay" to graduate lifted a huge weight off of my shoulders, but I still had a lot of underlying anxiety about this happy moment.
What was I afraid of?
Although the hurdle of graduation was lifted, I still had so many concerns about what post-grad life would entail. Would I find a job? Where would I live? Will my relationships I've acquired the past 5 years be lost? How will my relationship with my parents be? Have I failed them because of the route I chose was not the ideal route they wanted for me? How will I pay off my loans?? I was scared. I voiced my concerns with my significant other and my sister a multitude of times, and although their words were comforting in the moment, the anxiety always creeped its way back to the forefront of my mind. I had no idea what I would do with my life.
My Health
My parents were really hounding on me to get a job and it triggered a few panic attacks and I even had to go to the doctors for falling occasionally. My body would go cold and numb, my breathing was sporadic, I would black out and find myself on the floor shaking and gasping for air. My health was bad and I needed to take back control. I learned that patience is a virtue and that I can do only so much until it is literally out of my hands. Why the fuck am I stressing so much if I cannot do anything about it?? Applying to jobs taught me that very important lesson. You as an individual can do everything you can possibly do, but once it is out of your hands, it is no longer on you anymore. That very important lesson helped ease my mind and my anxiety. I asked myself everyday "Is there anything else you can do?" If not, then I will just relax. There is no shame in relaxing; What is the point of being anxious and worried if you cannot do anything about it?
Summer 2017
After graduation, I decided to go on a vacation with some college friends to Mexico. It was much needed and very deserved. We all worked so hard to get to this moment and we needed to celebrate. Once I got home from my little week long getaway, best believe I was applying to jobs left and right. Shoot, I think I even applied to a few places while I was in the jacuzzi in our hotel room! During this summer, I also did a lot of traveling with my family. This was one of the best summers for us as we got to really bond during this time. My family and I took a road trip to Massachusetts for a wedding, and then made our way up to Bar Harbor, Maine for some family time.
The Interview
Ironically enough on the last and final day of our vacation in Maine (August 8th, 2017), I received the email that got me to where I am today. I secured a job interview at a company I had been eyeing for some time. I specifically advised my parents that I refused to settle for a dead end job and wanted to secure a position at a company I would actually want to stay with, so this was exciting news. I had to go through two rounds of interviews and was ultimately offered the position which started 2 weeks later. I am very grateful for this position, although it is not what I want long-term for my career, it opened plentiful doors of opportunity for me and has been a major learning experience.
What Now?
Putting in the time at my company has definitely paid off. I have voiced to everyone that I know that I would be most interested in going back to school to obtain my Master's Degree. I wanted to continue schooling after obtaining my bachelors, but unfortunately was not able to afford to take out any additional loans. After being an employee here for a year, I was able to work with my company to do a University Partnership Program. I was accepted and now I am working towards obtaining my M.S in Healthcare Administration with Leadership Studies, at no cost! It feels like everything fell
right into place and just goes to show that everything happens for a reason.
What I Took From This
Everything will be okay. Whether you get a job right after college or get a job a year after you graduate; Everything will be okay. As long as you know you are doing everything you need to accomplish on your end, there is no need to worry. I learned to take control of my thoughts and my worries, it helped me get through a lot of bad spells. Because my family has witnessed how my stress has been affecting me so much, they have become more understanding of me and my internal struggles. I happily still live in my parents basement, (its a really nice ass basement btw!), which they were adamant on me staying to save money and has helped me developed a new, adult relationship with my parents. Maintaining adult friendships tends to get more difficult due to everyone being spread out and with busy schedules, but we have all made time to make it work and understand each other's busy lives. Post-Grad life is not easy, but it helps to hear how other people have felt and what they have been through to share that they are not alone in feeling how they feel. My story is my own and I hope that this has helped anyone out there feel that they are not alone during this time.
Be patient and be kind with yourself!
